GRACE cackles loudly as she downs a bucket of booze through a penis-shaped straw while wearing a red satin hat with the words 'BAD GIRL' emblazoned across the front.
But good-time girl Grace isn't a 25-year-old on her first foreign holiday - she's an 85-year-old OAP who uses a mobility scooter and has come to Benidorm on a six-week bender.
The Liverpudlian widow spends her evenings riding a rodeo bull on the strip, flashing her generous breasts and downing shots with much younger men.
And she's not alone. A new two-part TV series, Benidorm: Brits on the Pull, reveals Grace is just one of one of many pensioners who live and holiday in the infamous holiday resort - and who have no intention of growing old gracefully.
Here, we meet the OAPs who've switched sipping tea for downing shots.
Flashing her boobs in the street
Good-time granny Grace, who has been coming to Benidorm for 30 years, says: “I love it here. My husband and I used to come out for about three or four months a year.”
After her husband’s death, Grace moved to Benidorm full-time, living there for 20 years and only moving back to Britain two years ago.
“I left Benidorm because of my age - I thought it would be a lot of bother for my family to get my body home if I dropped dead!”
But she makes regular six-week visits back to the Mediterranean resort in Alicante - and keeps a diary of her raucous adventures - which include flashing her boobs in the street and pole-dancing on lampposts.
“It draws me back all the time. I have to come for five or six weeks every summer and I just love it. I can’t help it,” she says.
Mr Benidorm
Like Grace, Lee - who has renamed himself Mr Benidorm’ – has fallen in love with the Spanish holiday resort.
Dressed in Union Jack suit, the Tottenham-born pensioner uses his mobility scooter to go up and down the strip and try and get party-goers to visit his bar, Union Jack 2.
Lee moved to the Spanish town less than a year ago.
He worked as a goldsmith for 30 years in London before launching a string of unsuccessful businesses in the UK.
He says: “I opened a fish and chip restaurant that sank quicker than the Titanic. Then I had a hot dog place in Southend high street - that burnt down.”
Now, he admits that business in his Benidorm sports bar is worryingly slow.
“It’s been two and a half months and people are coming in - but it needs to be a lot busier. I’m out here to make a bit of money, have a good time and make my two daughters proud," he says.
Twerking 65-year-olds
Also hoping to make it big in Benidorm is tattooed granny rapper Jeanie B, who is 65 and has come to Benidorm from the UK to audition at a cabaret club.
She has garish blue eyeshadow, a furry blue jacket, bejewelled cheeks, a series of brightly coloured tutus and a bag of props which includes an alien mask, a blow-up man and a Viking helmet.
"I love coming to Benidorm because it’s the party place of the universe. I am the greatest party animal the world has ever seen,” she says.
“It’s very important that I look a bit wild – flamboyant outfits and lots of eye makeup so I look completely different to anyone else. It’s my unique style.”
Waving ribbons, twerking and dropping into the splits, Jeanie B performs a gangster granny rap, which includes lyrics such as: ‘Al Capone is on the phone, he knows that you can make him moan’.
Sadly, her act falls decidedly flat on the Benidorm promenade.
Sea, sex and booze
Similarly in love with the limelight is long-term Benidorm resident Gary, aka ‘Johnny Bongo’, who’s hoping to resurrect his drumming career and is taking to the stage for the first time in almost 17 years.
The 59-year-old musician left the Manchester music scene 17 years ago on a one-way plane ticket to Benidorm.
He says: “The reason I love Benidorm is because of the sun the sea, the sex, the booze. What more can you say?
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“At the end of the day, anything’s got to be better than living in rainy Manchester. Sometimes the foreign women here are better because they don’t know what I’m talking about. If they’re English, they tend to find I can be a little bit crude.”
Crudeness seems to be in the genes for many of Benidorm’s most colourful personalities.
Never mind the azure blue sea and those golden sands: it’s all about the novelty T-shirt, the slogan hat and the risqué tattoo for these 24-hour party pensioners.
Benidorm: Brits on the Pull will air on Channel 5 on 25th July at 10:15pm
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